June 09, 2008
Oh Hell!!
It is hitting me hard.
This is Dawn. I met Dawn through the Flagstaff Knitters in the Dark, a ravelry group that meets to knit and drink wine on Thursday nights. Dawn has a fabulous sense of humor and is alot of fun to be around.
This is Lauren. Another really great gal, who is becoming a member of knit night, but I met her through the wool festival that occurred last weekend. She was one of two women there that I bonded with, both were doing a sheep to shawl event where a bunch of women were spinning a fleece (in the raw) to create a knitted shawl over the course of the two day event.
I got so jazzed about it, and had been told there was a wheel I might be able to borrow at a spinning group here in town, I bought some roving. From this farm.
So I am sitting in front of Lauren's wheel, which she has let me borrow. And I am screwed. I like making yarn. I like making anything that envelops me in quiet and is repetitive and mesmerizing.
And I have alot of time right now too! With my book deadline looming June 30th), my over-achieving, get it done perfectly and on time, don't take a break, don't breath. Work, work, work. Feel guilt for taking Sunday off approach...
This lil beauty sits in my studio saying, "Be mesmerized, you need down time...."
And look at this.
400$ unfinished, little, beautiful, not going to be mine anytime soon. Can't afford and shouldn't go down that path...
June 02, 2008
Tired...
My deadline arrives quickly and I am working like hell to meet it. I am lonely and wish my comfort in my life could stand beside me and my favorite of friends could come and hug and be hugged. Maybe this sounds dramatic and it is, I suppose.
I have lived five months separate from the man who is home. My truest comfort. I want him.
I woke today to a migraine whose affects linger. My mind is fuzzy and I need to walk slowly, or my head pounds.
I am trying to evaluate what is the connecting circumstance for these headaches, as they are coming somewhat frequently. Two in the last 2 weeks, maybe three. Three.
I wish I could show photos of my work and thoughts about that work. Open up to the world at large and find comfort there. It will happen soon, soon enough. The work is good, it goes well.
So maybe what I should be writing about is where I do find comfort, as it is the predominant idea of these few words.
The woods around my home and its dips and twists, the grasses shining in the sun, the crystal encrusted rocks and the feel of my body accepting the earth beneath my feet.
Allowing myself to sink into the making, application of dye to cloth, needle puncturing layers.
Water, flowing into my body, cooling me.
The birds. Even the hawk who hunts the little birds I am so fond of.
I don't really want comments, I just want to be able to say these things. To be listened to, really. So if you have read this, thank you. For indulging me.